Emotional Intelligence

Its been a while since I wrote something here. Sometimes I do wonder, no one reads this page anyway. But its therapeutic to write!.

I thought of talking about something that was uncovered as part of extensive research on the human brain. That is on Emotional Intelligence. Research has shown that a high level of intelligence doesn't necessarily make a person successful in life. Daniel Goleman in his book - Emotional Intelligence http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence talks about how emotions and being able to control and use them can make a person successful in social, work and family settings.

Some of the points that I found earth shattering are:

1. Our brain has parts that are millions of years old. The brain stem is the most basic part of our brain which controls our basic functions like digestion, breathing
2. The emotional part of the brain has the basic emotions like anger and fear that helped us survive in a chaotic environment. Anger gave us strength to fight, Fear helped us run away from danger.
3. Amygdala is a part of the brain that controls emotions.
4. The neocortex which has the more rational part of the brain is the youngest part of our brain. Its folded up as it developed very fast during the last 10,000 years. This part of the brain helps us process information and take rational decision.
   
5. However, the Amygdala has direct connections that can bypass the rational brain that makes us do things without thinking rationally.
6. Sometimes the Amygdala can give us the wrong signals and try to protect from non-existent dangers.
7. The Amygdala helps us be emotionally rich than any other species. This is what creates a bond between mother and child and helps in our development.
8. A non-functioning amygdala can create a human without emotions.
9. A HIGH IQ Alone doesn't ensure success in life. Most brilliant people have had little success in life and relationships.
   
10. Highest performers are people who can build networks of relationships.
11. People pick on your mood and the stronger personalities dominate a groups' mood.
12. Your feedback can be misinterpreted by the way you say it. Try and keep sarcasm, anger to a minimum when giving feedback if you want to get results.
13. 
    

Definition of Emotional Intelligence - (Salovey, in Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence)

1. Knowing one's emotion - ability to understand how one feels.
2. Managing Emotions - Ability to control ones emotions.
3. Motivating oneself - Ability to increase your own motivation through your own efforts
4. Recognising Emotions of others - Ability to empathise with others.
5. Handling relationships.
   

To conclude
Emotions play an important part and the ability to control your emotions and being able to understand emotions of others will help you succeed in relationships and in life.

Thats it from me for now.

Love this quote

In the heat of battle it ceases to be an idea for which we fight or a flag. Rather we fight for the man on our left and we fight for the man on our right and when armies have scattered and when the empires fall away all that remains is the memory of those precious moments we spent side by side.

This is true for anything. Sometimes what we fight for is not important as much as living those moments. I have been involved in a few projects when things got really hairy and we had to spend long nights trying to solve problems.

Today what I remember about those projects is how we all pulled it through working for the team and giving our 200%. Sometimes the end goal is not important. What I treasure are the mistakes we made and how we resolved them. You do learn from that, and move on. But there is no guarantee that you will not make the same mistakes again.

Fighting for something is like a drug. We love fire fighting, we love the challenges it brings. There is no other ability that I can think of that gives you more rewards than the ability to take calculated risks. Some of the happiest people I have met are risk takers. They love taking risks and they grow like nothing. Does the name Virgin ring a bell? Richard Branson?

Unfortunately I am not a risk taker such as that. But most of the risks I have taken have paid off. Some were stupid risks, so they also paid off but you end up paying a price. I take my risks on Need For Speed on a Lamborghini Murceilago. Simply because you can always try again :-). Life is also like a computer game. Only thing is that it has a limited number of safety nets.

But I am working on it :-). Want to take a few more risks :-) Maybe try out the Evo on Need for Speed.

But how does one take risks?

e.g. Your boss comes up with an idea that you have no skills to perform. This is definitely a risk that is worth taking. You will need to invest time. But a few reality checks first.

Most good ideas sound dumb at the outset. Some really ARE dumb. But some SEEM dumb because its not in our current paradigm. So this is where you take a risk.

- The investment is your effort
- The return
- is that you will learn something new
- you will build your brand with your boss as a guy open to new ideas
- the idea might turn out to be a really good idea

Downside
- The idea may not fly. But you have learnt something new.

Some Advice
- Make sure you identify what you will learn in the process. This is important since you will know at the most even if the idea doesn't work out, you will learn something. This could be the only thing that motivates you in the end.

That's about it for now. TAKE RISKS. LIVE LIFE and that will make you happy.

Weekends and Weekdays

Some people like to wish "have a good weekend" at the end of the week! How important are these 2 days out of 7 days of the week. Going by the 80/20 rule, are these two days more important and do they give you 80% return?

My feeling is that every moment has its good and bad moments. Separating the weekend from the weekdays doesn't make much sense. I say that every day should be a "Good day!!". I sometimes watch the week WHIZZ past to the end of the week. Sometimes the weekend seems as long as the 5 days !! So time is relative and the more fun you have the faster you eat up time or is it the other way round.

The weekend is like an island that gives you enough breathing space to take on another hard week? Maybe a paradigm change is required. From my life, each day has places where I can recharge instead of waiting till the weekend.

1. 30 minutes right after waking up. Is a good time to get some high energy by contemplating about the day ahead and energising youself. Being around a kid is also great cos they are a great source of positive energy. I end up watching birds with my son or watching the morning sky and spending a few moments of bliss.

2. Right after you get to work. If you get in early there is no one to bother you. You can relax and listen to some music until you clear up any important tasks before you get disturbed by your team mates.

3. Lunch time - is a good way to laugh and have some fun which gives you energy to get through the rest of the day. A few meetings are good to break the monotony.

4. Your trip home. I love this part. I listen to some cool music and by the time I get home I feel energised.

5. A 30 min walk does wonders before you have your dinner. Again this can be with some upbeat music to get your heart pumping.

6. Dinner with family is a good time to get an update of what went on the whole day. Right after dinner its cool to spend some time again with a kid looking at the stars. Make sure you have an early dinner which may not be practical for all the high rollers :-).

7. Listen to a meditation mp3 or some slow music like chillouts, contemporary jazz to get you to sleep.

So like I said, you don't need to look forward to the weekend anymore. Every day has millions of opportunities to relax.

Thats all for now..lol

Been A While !!!

Hey everyone, been a bit busy with work. Interesting times are upon us. I have a good feeling amidst all the doom and gloom. I think this year will be an year of cleansing ourselves of various bad habits like greed and wastage. Why are we in this state now. Its because or the hunger each corporate executive has for year on year growth. Sadly, everything has a way of evening out in the end. What goes up must surely come down. We will have to pay for our greediness and that is what is happening.

I hope we will see a much better world after this where people will learn from their mistakes. Examples:

1. We build houses which are far too big for our families and for what?
2. We drive cars and SUV's that are far too big.
3. We waste so much food while some people in the world go hungry.
4. We spend so much on unncessary gadgets while some people can't afford to buy their kids a pen or pencil.
5. We use up so much energy for pointless activities.

How can we think differently now?

1. Go local - buy products of your country. Give money to the small or medium entrepreneur.
2. Use less energy - walk !! Its free !!
3. Eat nutritious home grown food or food from your locality.
4. Buy a smaller car and use it sparingly.

Remember, having a big investment account for your kids will not matter if they don't have a world to live in. So I will end up with the famous words of Will Smith I think who said - "People spend money they don't have, to buy things that they don't need to impress people they don't like." That sums up 80% of the things we do.

Take care and happy new year !!